Which 'Big Five' Personality Trait Do You Most Embody?

“Kiss a frog with your eyes wide open. If he turns into a prince you won't miss the transformation, but if he doesn't, you won't be fooled by some wishful illusion in your head.” Richelle E. Goodrich

Trying to fill an opening in a company is tough. The person being interviewed wants the job and will show their best side to entice the employer to hire them. We put on nice clothes, show up early, and answer questions to reflect that we are trustworthy, hard working, and intelligent. The employer, of course, knows this and attempts to ferret out those who truly possess these qualities and those who do not possess the necessary skills or are undependable. Trying to find a partner that we can envision staying with for the long haul is just like this: we work hard when we meet someone to make a good impression. It is only when we know each other better that the cracks in the facade start to show through.

To aid in the process of choosing the right person for a job, tests have been developed to focus on the five basic traits that form a large part of human personality. These ‘big five’ traits are: Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Openness. These traits exist on a continuum and the blend of these five traits in a person is a predictor of their behaviour. These traits are a window into ourselves and, while are helpful in finding an employee, they are also a predictor of marital outcomes.

Just like it sounds, a person who is high in agreeableness is cooperative, sympathetic, and friendly. Someone on the disagreeable end of this continuum is far more concerned with meeting their own needs than extending themselves for others.

Conscientiousness is a desire to do a thorough and competent job. People high in this attribute will be careful, efficient, organized, and take tasks seriously. It is also found they are safer drivers and live longer. On the other hand, people who are lacking in conscientiousness have poor follow-through, act impulsively, are unprepared, and have less concern for others. They are also more likely to engage in criminal or anti-social behaviour.

We are all familiar with the term extraversion – or as it is commonly spelled extroversion – and envision the life of the party. They are seen as talkative, gregarious, energetic, and highly social. Carl Jung coined the term, asserting that people high in this attribute gain gratification outside themselves. People low on this scale will be quiet, aloof, and find too much social interaction draining. These people have rich inner lives and seek gratification internally.

Neuroticism is a very loaded word and forms of this are bandied about as an insult. Neuroticism should not be confused with neurosis. Neurosis was once a diagnosis used by doctors to describe mental health issues, neuroticism is a personality trait that does not impair daily functioning. People high in this trait are more likely to have severe levels of fear, anxiety, worry, depressed moods, and be more sensitive to stressors. If you score on the low end, you are calm, balanced, emotionally stable, and less likely to be upset by external stress.

Openness should not be confused with extraversion. Openness in this sense relates to imagination, sense of adventure, and open-mindedness. Conversely, if you are low in this attribute, you will be cautious, rigid, and struggle with change, preferring routine.

In any partnership, though especially loving relationships, we desire someone that possesses the qualities that will ensure a happy and healthy long-term pairing. Taking this test can help with this. Before you show your score to your beloved, ask a close friend or relative to take the test about you. Results have shown that friends will be able to rate you more honestly than you rate yourself. Once you compare all the test results, you can gauge if you can work together in a fashion that will ensure a happier ever after.

Not surprisingly, individuals who have a high degree of agreeableness and conscientiousness tend to have greater relationship satisfaction. Low levels of these were possible predictors of infidelity. High levels of extraversion indicate we are with someone fun to be with, but as David Schmidt (2008) found, this personality type can be linked to short-term mating. Sadly, for someone high in neuroticism, relationship outcomes are less positive. Openness, however, factors very little in how well things work out for couples.

This data is helpful in knowing what will work and what would be a bad idea within the relationship. If someone fears change, you might not want to throw them a surprise party. If someone is high in extraversion, a week long silent retreat is unlikely to be on their vacation bucket list.

Be wary, though, of choosing someone very similar to you if you are in it for the long haul. Michelle Shiota & Robert Levenson (2007) found that while we are happy in our youth to be with someone similar to us in these attributes, in our later years we are not.