Would You Be Open to Praying Together for a Healthy Relationship?

“Sincere and concentrated prayer will do infinitely more than any human strategy for a happy marriage.” Pastor Francis Chan

We all enter marriage hoping for wedded bliss, the stuff of fairy tales and sappy romance films. The reality of it is that marriage is hard, even under the best circumstances...

The beginning of a relationship is glorious, that mad rush of hormones when you hate being apart and think everything about your partner is wonderful. This stage is easy and marked by utter joy. This blissful honeymoon phase gives way to real life where the garbage needs to be taken out and supper made. Blissfulness gives way to partnership and deep connection, ideally.

The world is moving so fast and it feels like our day is filled to overflowing with responsibilities and distractions. We move through life trying to give just enough of our time and energy to our responsibilities, like our job and still have enough left over for the things that matter, like family. It is easy in the hustle and bustle to let our relationship slide, perhaps feeling secure that it will always be there.

Ideas to enrich a relationship and stave off divorce abound – from counselling to effective communication. Most involve work and retraining how we behave. A different idea emerged that seems almost too simple to work and, yet, research suggests it does... It seems there is truth in the adage: the family that prays together, stays together.

Retrouvaille International, a group that holds marriage support seminars, reported in 2005, that couples that pray together or read the Bible daily have a high likelihood of staying bonded together. The statistic they quote is that among this group there was less then one divorce in 1105 marriages. It is not surprising that a faith-based organization would espouse prayer so strongly and it may be that couples that pray together are a breed unto themselves. Still if one's relationship is worth fighting for, it certainly seems worth a try, even if you do not have a spiritual bent.

Andrew Greeley, author of Faithful Attraction, reiterates the point. He states, “Praying together is the most powerful predictor of marital happiness that researchers have yet discovered.” Praying together produces stronger, happier, joy-filled marriages. It was stated to me, though I have not found research to back this up, that researchers with no religious background were so surprised by this finding that they now do this with their spouses.

One struggle that may occur within a couple may be that one partner may not be on board with this. It can be a very lonely place to try to work on things yourself, but there remains hope on this front. Frank Fincham, a psychologist at Florida State University did a series of studies spanning several decades that indicate that prayer for one's partner had positive outcomes.

Frank Fincham and his team suggested this simple expression of care and concern for one's beloved:

Dear Lord, thank you for all the things that are going well in my life and in my relationship. Please continue to protect and guide my partner, providing strength and direction every day. I know you are the source of all good things. Please bring those good things to my partner and make me a blessing in my partner’s life. Amen.

Given the sometimes extensive and expensive measures one goes to in an effort to better a relationship, something as simple and time efficient as simple daily prayer seems like something every married person should consider making a part of each and every day, much as we do simple acts such as brushing one's teeth. It could, in fact, be posted in the bathroom so that as one brushes, one says a simple prayer to insure the health and well-being of marital togetherness.

So, the question remains, Would you be open to praying together every day?