They might be over-responsible if:
Are they the firstborn? Firstborn children tend to be given more responsibility and therefore may be more controlling.
Are they a middle child? Middle children are more self-motivated and independent.
Have they lived on their own? Having some time to take on all the responsibilities for one’s self can only be a good thing. They have an idea of the cost and effort needed to run a household.
Did their opposite sex parent do everything for them? Sometimes we see the mother do everything for the son so they never learn how to cook or do laundry. Sometimes a dad will make sure their daughter never has to mow the lawn or change a tire.
Were they part of a family that required all members to pitch in such as a farm family?
Do they feel like everything depends on them?
Have they found out about a family tragedy at work and finished their shift?
Are they OCD regarding cleanliness?
Does others’ uncleanliness stress them out so much they start cleaning for them?
Are they unable to delegate or settle for a less then a perfect job?
Do they have impossibly high standards?
Do they do for others what they should do themselves?
Do they know the schedule of everyone in their life including those that don’t live in their house?
Do they feel like if they don’t keep on top of the situation nothing will get done?
They might be under-responsible if:
Did they grow up in a home where they never had to work for things or learn the value of them? Were they always given everything and never had to work for it?
Was there an adult male in the home? A man who is raised without a male influence may have all their emotional needs met by the females in the home and expect this of a partner.
Are they the youngest? Younger children usually shoulder less responsibility so are more carefree.
Do they always have an excuse why they can’t do things themselves?
Are they frequently late?
Do they blame others for their mistakes?
Do they neglect to take care of themselves or their possessions?
Do they frequently change jobs?
You feel like you are babysitting when you are with them?
Do they procrastinate or need a lot of reminders?
Do they always expect others to rescue them?
Do they fail to plan ahead?
Are they financially irresponsible?
Have they always had someone jump in so they have not had to experience the consequences of their actions?
Do they have a history of losing things? Forgetting deadlines? Missing appointments?
Could go either way:
Was she the only girl in the family? While this may have taught her manly skills, it also could be she was treated as fragile.
Was he the only boy? Sometimes this can mean he has had to take on the man of the family role, especially if the parents were divorced. If he was the only boy and the youngest, he could have been over-mothered and be less responsible.
Did they grow up in a very traditional family where gender roles were strictly enforced?
Did their parents divorce? This may have resulted in them having to take on more responsibility which might mean they are over responsible, but they may now be looking for someone to take on the role since they already paid their dues.
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