Lesbians:
Do one or both of you want to carry a child? Who will go first?
Whose eggs will you use?
Will you use IUI or IVF?
Do you want to use a sperm donor who is known to you or a stranger?
If using a known donor, do you want them to be part of your child’s life? Are you prepared to negotiate a legal contract to make your wishes clear?
Do you want to use a sperm donor who has similar looks to your partner?
Is the non-birthing partner prepared for the child potentially being more bonded to the birthing person?
How will you negotiate the legal issues involved in making sure both parents go on the birth certificate (if any exist)?
Does the non-birthing partner want to breastfeed as well?
How will you deal with homophobia that comes up during and after the process of assisted reproduction?
Do you have a strong support network?
If pursuing adoption, how will you deal with the homophobia that may come up during the adoption process?
How and when will you have the discussion with your child about why their family is different?
Gay Men:
Who will you choose to be your surrogate? Do you want someone you know or a stranger?
Do you want the surrogate to also donate eggs or will you do that separately?
Do you want the egg donor to be a part of your child’s life? Are you prepared to negotiate a legal contract to make your wishes clear?
Who will donate sperm?
Do you want to use an egg donor who has similar looks to your partner?
Do you want to be present for the birth? How involved do you want to be during the birth?
Do you want/expect a say in how the surrogate chooses to give birth?
How will you negotiate the legal issues involved in making sure both parents go on the birth certificate (if any exist)?
Will you ask the surrogate to donate breast milk? If possible, would you want to induce lactation to breastfeed the child yourself? (Yes, this is possible!)
How will you deal with homophobia that comes up during and after the process of assisted reproduction?
Do you have a strong support network?
If pursuing adoption, how will you deal with the homophobia that may come up during the adoption process?
How and when will you have the discussion with your child about why their family is different?
Transgender:
How will you deal with any dysphoria that may come up during pregnancy?
Is your healthcare provider knowledgeable in transgender pregnancy?
As a trans man, are you prepared to stop taking testosterone to get pregnant?
How will you deal with the stares and conversations that will come with being a pregnant man?
Have you done research into trans pregnancy?
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