What Does Your Partner’s Resume Look Like?

“Your hopping from one relationship to another, from one job to another does say nothing about people you are associated with. It conveys that you are a tough nut to please.” Sailajanand

We would all love to make wheelbarrows full of money doing what we really love, on our own terms and our own timeline. If only the world worked like that. The fact is that most people are going to have jobs that do not inspire them at some time in their life, especially when they are first starting out. How you go about dealing with these mundane jobs says a lot about you as a person.

The intent behind a resume is not just to list our work history, but to make us attractive to potential employers. The wise employer knows this and is reading between the lines to determine what the truth is. It can also be a tool for you to evaluate what sort of person you are with.

I always liked to see someone who was at a company more then a couple years. A string of jobs a year or less long makes me question:

Do they get bored easily?

Are they lazy?

Were they unreliable or inflexible?

Did they get fired?

Are they hard to work with?

Are they unable to work through issues?

Are they lacking in loyalty?

Did they give notice and not leave their coworkers short-handed?

Do they blame others for their lack of success at this job?

Do they think the grass is always greener?

Can they never be satisfied?

What does this have to do with relationships? None of these qualities listed above makes for a good life partner. We want someone with ‘stick-to-it-ness’. We want someone who can work with us when there are issues. Long lasting relationships are hard enough without someone who cuts bait and runs when there are problems or life becomes routine. We do not need someone whose head turns every time they see something new and shiny. Wedding vows state in good times and in bad. A poor job history might warn us that bad times will be a challenge for this person. Or that we may have a lot of bad times.

Some reasons to change jobs are appropriate. Was the job hopping because they were bettering themselves? Were they taking night classes that enabled them to get something better? Did they move to jobs that had better pay or a promotion? These are better reasons to change positions, but are they going to move on to someone better than you when they feel they are better or are making more money?

I am not suggesting that someone who job hops can’t be a loving and consistent partner, but I believe looking at the reasons behind a lot of job change can give us a window into how our partner thinks. To find out how their mind works ask these questions:

Would you hire you if you were the boss?

Would you put in overtime if there was a crisis at work?

Would you rather work at a high paying job you hate or a lower paying job you love going to?

Would you stay at a job that had no chance of promotion if you loved it?

Would you take a better paying job if it meant being away from home more?

Would you take a job that meant moving to another country?

In a choice between a family event and work, which would win?

Do you want a career or a job?

Although you may think that your employment has no bearing on your relationship, most of us spend half our waking hours five days a week at our job. How we feel about our employment and what goes on in our day is going to influence our mood. If we hate what we do or are under extreme work stress, it may be difficult to not bring this home with us.

No job comes without it’s challenges, both personally and in the effect it will have on a relationship. Whether it is long hours, hard physically, or being around the opposite sex, you should be aware of the challenges the way in which you bring money into the relationship will have on it. Some jobs are even linked to higher divorce rates.

One thing to note is that if the male in a heterosexual relationship doesn’t maintain full-time employment, there is a greater probability the marriage will end in divorce, according to a 2016 Harvard study.