General:
Are they ‘pro-life’ or ‘pro-choice’?
Do they respect when you say ‘no’?
Do you need to ask their permission a lot?
Is your opinion treated as valid?
Is there behaviour they consider ‘unladylike’ or not ‘manly’?
Do they describe women as ‘broads’ or chicks’? Do they use vulgar slang for genitalia?
Do they have negative opinions of LGBTQ+ people?
During disagreements, who makes most of the concessions?
Health and Appearance:
Do they tell you how to dress?
Is there pressure to wear make up (or not wear make up)?
Do they require you to ask permission before changing your appearance (i.e. colouring your hair)?
Do they demand you look a certain way in public?
Do they demand you look a certain way when they come home?
Are health decisions made for you?
Do they pressure you into using therapies or medications based on their diagnosis of you?
Do they tell you what products you can or cannot use on or in your body?
Do they try to control what/how much you eat?
Do they try to control your exercise habits?
Social Media:
Do they monitor your social media?
Do they tell you who you can and can’t follow on social media?
Do they restrict use of certain apps?
Do they go through your phone without your permission?
Do they go on your social media accounts without permission?
Do they demand to know your passwords?
Do they control what you post?
Menstruation:
Do they understand how menstruation works?
Do they view menstruation as weakness? Do they use rude words for menstruation?
Do they try to control what kind of menstrual products you use?
Do they treat you as dirty or unclean when you’re menstruating?
Do they reject your thoughts and opinions as being due to hormones during your period?
Sex and Sexuality:
Have you been pressured to send photos that make you uncomfortable?
Do you feel forced into sex or specific sex acts?
Do they believe sex workers can be raped?
Do they believe one spouse can be raped by the other?
Do they believe a woman can/should ‘forbid’ a man’s sexual release’?
Do they believe someone can say ‘no’ to sex at any point in the act?
Do they try to get out of wearing a condom or using birth control?
Have they ever tampered with your birth control (i.e. poking holes in the condom, throwing out your pills)?
Do they try to control what type of birth control you use?
Have they recorded you having sex without your consent?
Have they ever threatened ‘revenge porn’?
Pregnancy and Birth:
Do they have a plan in mind about what will happen if a pregnancy occurs without having included you in the plan?
Does the non-birthing person want too big a say in the birth plan?
Who gets the final say in the birth plan?
Is breastfeeding being forced or forbidden?
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